On VH1s date-a-hairball hit Rock of Love, the tucked-and-tied-together bag of straw that is Poison frontman Bret Michaels whispers, Only one of you will be my rock of love. Criminy, the last time we said anything so inane we were 9 and forced to choose between an aggie and a clearie. But every rose has its thorn, and last seasons Rock of Love winner Jes reminded Bret that relationships do suck and gunned him down on national television. Youch. The producers were partly to blame, making Lancelot and his Guinevere wait seven months to see each other at their reunion show. As the epic Whitesnake ballad says, Love Aint No Stranger.
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You can meet the Cameron Diaz doppelgänger at the all-lesbian-all-the-time E-Lounge. During her guest-DJ stint, shell bump her cross-fade and baby-scratch skillz all up in DJ Reds house. So did Jes use Bret to get ahead? We hope so, but probably not. Unlike some hair-band has-beens we could name, this small-town girl from Naperville, Illinois, is fiery and down to earth even with her spokesmodel gig for the anti-establishment T-shirt line Chii Clothing Culture.
Sat., Jan. 19, 7 p.m., 2008