Fans of lesbians, music, and Showtime's The L-Word get a bite of the Big Apple on Saturday, July 16, when the cable series house band, Betty, takes the stage at Ain't Nobody's Bizness, 3031 East Indian School. The lovely ladies of Betty -- siblings Amy and Elizabeth Ziff (cello and guitar, respectively) and Alyson Palmer (bass) -- will play a variety of pop rock songs from their six albums, including tunes from the off-Broadway production Betty Rules, which their friend Lily Tomlin called "so joyously captivating, you'll ovulate." And although local lesbians have a better chance of scoring with Betty than scoring with Jennifer Beals or Pam Grier, Amy Ziff says they better work for it. "There's room for negotiation," says Ziff. "Bring the flowers out, and the jewelry, and the chocolate, and those longhorn skull things you have out in Arizona. Whatever tickles your fancy, maybe it'll tickle ours, too." Betty rocks at 9 p.m. Tickets cost $7 in advance, $10 day-of-show. Visit www.aintnobodysbizness-az.com. -- Niki D'Andrea
Bread Time Stories
Play visits child 'hood
Before X-Boxes and reality television shows, Slinky and Twister were the height of childhood coolness. Now your 5-year-old needs designer jeans, and a cross-country trip in the family station wagon feels like a prison term at Guantánamo Bay, according to your teenage son. The Wonder Bread Years, opening Tuesday, July 19, at Herberger Theater Center, harks back to when the baby boomers were born, and a child's life had three simple requirements -- eat, sleep and play. Now that's paradise! The one-man show takes audiences through that golden age of picnics and parades, where the only high kids experienced was a sugar rush from sweet breakfast cereals. Penned by Seinfeld co-writer Pat Hazell, The Wonder Bread Years runs through August 14 at Herberger's Stage West, 222 East Monroe. Tickets cost $22 to $28. Call 602-252-8497. -- Wynter Holden
Sharing the Love
I'm OK, Euro 'K
It's gotta be tough for a Frenchman touring the States these days. From sampling America's Freedom Fries to foul-tasting foie gras found in a faux French bistro, it's a chore for our friends from across the pond to even find a decent meal, much less get any love in the current political climate. Unless you're Amor, that is, a French singer-songwriter who's been living in Tucson since 1997, and whose name would suggest that he's all about the International Language. Amor -- born Naïm Amor -- brings his seductive voice and "Franco-American avant power pop" to Modified Arts, 407 East Roosevelt, on Saturday, July 16, for an 8 p.m. show with First Natural, and Sneak Thievery that winds down a two-week tour along the West Coast. Since coming to America, Amor's collaborated with Joey Burns and John Convertino (of Calexico) on the duo's 2002 album, ABBC, and toured in support of Tucson's Giant Sand, Handsome Family, and Calexico. Admission is $5. Call 602-462-5516 or see www.modified.org. -- Joe Watson
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Earp with people
Wanton woman Sadie has a few skeletons rattling around her closet when she shacks up with U.S. Marshal Wyatt Earp. "Shady Sadie" spins respect from a web of lies, but her secrets make her fascinating and keep Wyatt coming back in Terry Earp's one-woman show, Mrs. Wyatt Earp. Be a fly on the wall as Sadie shares her most sordid secrets with a feral cat, the only critter in the West that won't tell tales of Sadie's lascivious past. Experience Mrs. Wyatt Earp, Thursday, July 14, through Sunday, July 17, at Kerr Cultural Center, 6110 North Scottsdale Road in Scottsdale. Tickets cost $18.50. Call 480-596-2660. -- Lee Quarrie
DeVotchKa spies a niche
Genre melting pot = tasty licks
Critics love to slash and hyphenate the hell out of DeVotchKa's music. The band's Slavic/Latin/"Eastern bloc indie rock"/spy soundtrack/world/folk/emo/Gypsy sound defies a solid definition. So the band's latest album, How It Ends, usually ends up in the plain ol' "rock" section at the record store. On Monday, July 18, it's your turn to play "Categorize This," when DeVotchKa peeks out from behind the iron curtain that separates homogenized heartland rock from the esoteric grooves of the Eastern bloc with a show at the Rhythm Room, 1019 East Indian School. Some of the band's previous shows included exotic burlesque dancers -- fitting, since many of the Chicago quartet's string-frenzied instrumentals conjure images of Russian vixens in white fur hats, with petite pistols in their thigh-highs. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $10 in advance, $12 day-of-show. Call 602-265-4842. -- Niki D'Andrea