Its been decades since bad-ass broads like Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem enlightened our primeval patriarchy. Now women watch football and mow lawns while men talk about their feelings and sob. Though we ladies dare not complain about our mans ability to watch The Way We Were and like it -- admit it, you pussies! -- we sometimes miss those dirty fingernails and manly sweat rings. Heart Attack Grill's Alpha Male Monday offers a way to prove your studliness. The weekly pig-out measures gluttony with deep-fried flatliner spuds and bypass burgers, and Heart Attack will pay for the meal of the dude who finishes the biggest cow hunk among a table of at least four guests. The event also features the Grills signature sexy nurses, who will not only cater to your every greasy whim, but will push your fat ass in a wheelchair if you successfully gorge the Triple Bypass Burger, which packs three girthy ground-beef patties that collectively weigh a pound and a half.
Mondays, 11 a.m.-8:30 p.m., 2007
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