It's dawned on us -- while pondering this weekend's Vans Triple Crown of Freestyle Motocross at America West Arena --that there is much in this world of considerable irrelevance, pardon the contradiction in terms. Case in point: tires on a dirt bike at AWA, 201 East Jefferson, on Friday, August 27, and Saturday, August 28. It seems to us that, since these gravity-defying machines and their pilots spend more time in the air than on the dirt (and since no one's really watching unless they're 50 feet above the ground), maybe wings of some sort would be more appropriate? Just a thought. Nevertheless, 2003 Vans champ Nate Adams will defend his title against 2002 Vans champ Kenny Bartram, Matt Buyten and Jake "The Jailor" Windham in consecutive 8 p.m. shows. Tickets are $20 for adults, $8 for kids. Call 480-784-4444 or see fmx.cc.com. --Joe Watson
Capture the Flag
Go long: play football, win money.
We've got football envy. We want the glory, the cash and, most important, video of ourselves humiliating the competition. On Saturday, August 28, and Sunday, August 29, we'll get our chance at the Goin' Deep 4-on-4 Flag Football Summer Cash Tournament at Byron Barry Elementary School, 2533 North 60th Avenue. We might even sign up for the upcoming season, which starts on September 11. Goin' Deep dishes out cash prizes, trophies and gift certificates, and offers videotapes for us vain mo-fos. Registration for the tourney, $200 to $250 per team, ends Friday, August 27. Call 623-205-6771 or see www.goindeepfootball.com. --Joe Watson
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Runners prepare for Rock 'n' Roll Marathon
Practice makes perfect, whether it's rehearsing for a career in rock 'n' roll, running a marathon -- or rehearsing for the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Marathon. Those wanting to get a head start on the 2005 version of the 26-mile highway to hell should check out the East Valley Cardio Club's 20-week-long training session beginning on Saturday, August 28, at South Mountain Park, 10919 South Central. Seminars on nutrition, injury prevention, strength training, and the proper gear might help ensure you won't get rocked like a hurricane. Running time starts at 6 a.m. Call 480-510-2309 or visit www.evcardioclub.com to register. --Benjamin Leatherman