Swimsuit Up

Of all the things Donald Trump has given us -- a few giant buildings, endless bad-hair-day jokes, faith that a braggadocio troll can still bag a smoking-hot wife -- no contribution is greater than the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants. But to become a contestant in these pageants,...

By Zach Fowle

January 3, 2013

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Of all the things Donald Trump has given us -- a few giant buildings, endless bad-hair-day jokes, faith that a braggadocio troll can still bag a smoking-hot wife -- no contribution is greater than the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants. But to become a contestant in these pageants, a woman must first win the official preliminary within her state. Some women are lucky -- they come from states that have very few beautiful women and even less who can walk across a stage in heels without falling over. But not Arizona! We're packed with babes and their bikini bodies. Competition in this year's Miss Arizona USA and Miss Teen Arizona USA is going to be -- like many members of the audience -- stiff.

Sat., Jan. 5, 7 p.m.; Sun., Jan. 6, 2013

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