Top 10 Lines to Use at the "Celebrity Roast" of Joe Arpaio

This weekend, a charity is hosting a "celebrity roast" of Sheriff Joe Arpaio.Chris Kattan from Saturday Night Live and comedian Joey Medina are supposed to be a couple of the roasters. In case they have trouble coming up with material, we've made a list of the top-10 lines to roast...

By Matthew Hendley

November 12, 2013

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18478561",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "16759093",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "17980324",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "16759092",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "17980324",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 24
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "16759094",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 24
        }
      ]

This weekend, a charity is hosting a "celebrity roast" of Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Chris Kattan from Saturday Night Live and comedian Joey Medina are supposed to be a couple of the roasters. In case they have trouble coming up with material, we've made a list of the top-10 lines to roast Arpaio:

10.) Joe Arpaio's so bad at fighting crime, he issues press releases when janitors are arrested.

Boom. Roasted.

9.) Joe Arpaio's jails are so poorly run, people have died there.

Boom. Roasted.

8.) Joe Arpaio's so dumb, he thinks President Obama's birth certificate is fake.

Boom. Roasted.

7.) Joe Arpaio so desperately needs attention, he fakes death threats.

Boom. Roasted.

6.) Joe Arpaio's so magical, he made $100 million of public funds disappear.

Boom. Roasted.

5.) Joe Arpaio loves media attention so much that he arrested this newspaper's founders.

Boom. Roasted.

4.) Joe Arpaio's so incompetent, his office didn't properly investigate 432 sex crimes.

Boom. Roasted.

3.) Joe Arpaio wastes so much taxpayer money that he makes everyone in Maricopa County look like an idiot.

Boom. Roasted.

2.) Joe Arpaio's so old, he lost a fight with a sidewalk by TKO.

Boom. Roasted.

1.) Joe Arpaio's so racist, a federal judge had to ban his office from racial profiling.

Boom. Roasted.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.