So, are we talking about this year's edition of the ultra-grueling P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll running fest coming up on Sunday? Not even in the slightest.
What we're referring to is the annual Marathon Pub Crawl in downtown Tempe, silly.
Serving as a perfect foil to P.F. Chang's -- and giving new meaning to the phrase "beer run" -- the event involves hardcore drinkers dressing up in comically retro running attire (think Prefontaine or Without Limits) and downing a bellyful of booze at such bars as Suite 301 and Crave Café on Saturday afternoon. Unlike the other marathon going on this weekend, its organizers promise that "there really isn't any running involved (unless you want to get to the next bar faster)."
Check out all the salient details after the jump, as well as nine other events you can participate in for less than $10.
Mia Riddle at Yucca Tap Room/Stinkweeds (Friday)
The cutie-pie Brooklyn chanteuse will be putting on not one, but two free gigs around town tonight. That means you've got few excuses not to check her out as she shows off her golden pipes, which was described by our sister publication Village Voice as a "mighty croon -- a mix of Nicks and Neko." The first is an intimate acoustic show at Stinkweeds (12 West Camelback Road) starting at 5 p.m., followed by an evening show at Yucca Tap Room that also features Dust Jacket, Soft Drink, Antarctica the Beautiful. 9 p.m. (29 West Southern Avenue, Tempe, 480-967-4447)
Friday Night Live at Hidden House (Friday)
Turntable jock and promoter Al Page has never liked being pigeonholed as just another hip-hop DJ working the Valley club circuit. So it's only appropriate that the dude is changing things up at his long-standing weekly Friday Night Live this weekend. Instead of its usual focus of hip-hop and old school, the event will feature performances by the local music scene darlings of Black Carl and What Laura Says. Meanwhile, Page will offer a mix of funk, indie, and dance tracks. 9 p.m., $5. (607 West Osborn Road, 602-266-1763)
Firestage at The Firehouse (Friday)
"Anytime we get a little skeeved out by all of the fancy lofts and upscale eateries that are sprouting downtown, we're happy about the existence of the lovingly rough-around-the-edges space The Firehouse and its monthly Firestage extravaganza. Downtown denizen Ernesto Moncada curates the alchemy of interesting oddness, and then shuffles his collected acts on stage as the debauchery-loving host Ernasty. Just about everything makes an appearance each month, ranging from burlesque and furious noise jams to bawdy poetry and offbeat comedy. More of a big-top ringleader than even-keeled moderator, Moncada's sin-tinged enthusiasm has even inspired impromptu onstage nudity." 8:30 p.m., free. (1015 North First Street, 602-300-7575). -- Jose Gonzalez
Flashy Fridays at Club DWNTWN (Friday)
One of the weekend's biggest hip-hop dance parties is making its move from Stoudemire's to a new home in downtown Phoenix. But while the location may have changed, the set-up remains the same. DJ Madd Rich from 101.5 Jamz and guests will be dropping urban and R&B hits, with $4 you-call-it drinks all night. 9 p.m., free before midnight. (702 North Central Avenue)
Marathon Pub Crawl in Downtown Tempe (Saturday)
This outrageous exercise in alcoholic excess starts off at the southern end of Mill Avenue's drinking district in the early afternoon, kicking off at Zuma Grill before heading northward. Participants will then stumble towards the Mill Cue Club, Crave Café, and Big Bang, with the final destinations being the Rula Bula and the Tavern. A special "Energy Stop Surprise" will also take place at around 7 p.m. at the Suite 301 parking lot. 3 p.m., free. (605 South Mill Avenue)
Jacob Smigel CD Release Show at Trunk Space (Saturday)
"Keepin' it real is integral for a folk artist, so big ups to Phoenix (by way of Las Vegas) singer-songwriter Jacob Smigel for realizing that nothin's realer than the messages on an old answering machine. His new album, Hope This Passes the Secretary, weaves Smigel's lo-fi, often minimalist indie folk style with snippets of found audio from thrifted answering machine tapes, and wraps it all up in what feels like a heartfelt mixtape composed just for you. If the sensitive tunes don't make you shed a tear, the desperate heartbroken boy's voice wishing that the answering machine 'had a 'hug' mode on it' so his beloved could 'get a free hug' could." 8 p.m., $6. (1506 Grand Avenue, 602-256-6006) -- Adriane Goetz
Whip It at Rogue Bar (Saturday)
If you're hankering for some hipster dance fun -- but missed out on last weekend's relaunch of Obscura -- worry not. DJ Manchester will be time warping back to the 1980s at his new monthly dance night at the Rogue (natch), providing patrons with a musical feast of New Wave, Britpop, and indie rock all evening long. 9 p.m., $5. (423 North Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale, 480-947-3580)
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Club Skirts Party at Z Girl Club (Saturday)
"A frugal dyke would never buy herself a special weekend out of town, because everyone else comes first: her mother, workmates, children, and definitely her pushy girlfriend. But, dammit, when is it your turn, frugal? Drop it like it's hot and get to zGirl Club for the Club Skirts Party that includes VIP pass giveaways to The Dinah (as in Dinah Shore) in Palm Springs, California. Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of The Dinah in Cali, Mariah Hanson of Club Skirts says, 'For five days, we plan on helping people forget about the current state of things and give the girls a reason to celebrate, smile, laugh, go wild, go crazy, and let loose a lot of steam.' We say that 10,000 dykes can't be wrong, beckoning with long arms and smiling mouths while dancing to Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and the Indigo Girls." 9 p.m., free. (4301 North Seventh Avenue, 602-265-3233) -- Leslie Barton.
Everclear at Sun Angel Stadium (Sunday)
Does Art Alexakis and his ever-changing lineup of backing musicians only come through the Valley when it involves a festival or some other special event? Back in November, Everclear was the solo headliners of The Big Pour beer bonanza at Scottsdale's waterfront district. And this coming weekend, the Portland post-grunge act will cap off this year's P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Marathon with a pair of performances at ASU's Sun Angel Stadium. Unlike the Scottsdale suds celebration, this gig will be absolutely free of charge.
11:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. (401 South Packard Drive, Tempe)
DJ Shane Kennedy at The Roosevelt (Sunday)
"Is it weird that when we go somewhere to listen to music, we actually want to listen to the music? If you share our dilemma, then you'll most definitely dig Sundays at The Roosevelt featuring Shane Kennedy. The longtime drummer, producer, and Bikini Lounge music provider plays tunes, at a not-too-obscene listening volume, from 8 p.m. to midnight every Sunday at the stylish downtown hang. "[The night] is a mellower version of the night at the Bikini," says Kennedy, who adds that he plays classic and indie roots stuff as well as contemporary and classic Americana, which encompasses country, blues, rhythm & blues, and jazz. "The whole idea is that it's tasteful and dignified. It's for the NPR listener in all of us." Plus, here's this added bonus: the polished place to eat and drink must be all tuned into the modus operandi of downtown drinkers because they just started carrying PBR on tap." 8 p.m., free. (816 N. 3rd St., 602-254-2561) -- Steve Jansen