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6 Worst Music Videos Shot in Laundromats

These days, music videos are essential to the whole music making process. It's one of the easiest, most effective ways to really burn into someone's head whatever you're trying to play. It also tends to make your lo-fi Bandcamp "release" more "official." And the best thing is, these days you can do it with a cell phone camera and some masks you bought at Party City. But if you want people to really pay attention to you, you might want to avoid these cliches. First up, music videos shot in your local laundromat. 

I guess I understand why so many videos (literally hundreds, it seems) are shot in Laundromats. They are generally well-lit, unsupervised, pseudo-public places that probably don't require permits to film in and feel both familiar and modest. But that doesn't mean your video won't totally suck there. Don't believe it? Take a look.

The Trip -- "Laundromat"

Um, so The Trip (some half-Canadian band that is apparently good at Frisbee) like filmed a fake porno and whatever? Cool. That's never been done.

This song would almost get a pass because it's actually about laundromats and porn or something (almost everything else in this list is totally arbitrary), but then again, this song totally lacks subtly. It's pretty much the epitome of lame. 

Franz Ferdinand -- "Ulysses"

Franz Ferdinand have some really arousing, artsy videos -- more than a decade ago, "Take Me Out" introduced me to Dadaism and "Do You Want To" brilliantly mocked conceptual art with flair.

"Ulysses" has a lot going on, but there are still some washing machine scenes. Even though these shots are among the most boring in a pretty bland video, the song still excited me enough to want to go chill out in a Laundromat. So I did. It was boring as fuck.

Cloud Boat -- Carmine

What the fuck is going on here? Yeah, Laundromats can be kind of depressing, but this whole video looks more like a suicide watch ward. The song is mopey enough to get your wrist slittin' on, but filming it here just adds to how pathetic the whole idea is.

 

Lisa Mitchell -- "Coin Laundry"

On the completely other side of the spectrum is Lisa Mitchell, who tries to be aggressively adorable in her weird little dryer world. She is kinda cute, but she comes off incredibly desperate and far too earnest.

"Can I be the girl you meet in the coin laundry?" She asks. Listen, you do realize that laundromats are for people who live in tiny apartments or can't afford their own appliances, right? Maybe try online dating.

"Do you have a dollar?" She asks. Um, no.

Big Freedia -- "Explode"

This song starts out with defensive, self-assuring rambling, something I will never understand about hip-hop. Why is she trying so hard to prove she doesn't care what anyone thinks? Get to the point and let your music speak for itself.

But then, by the time you get to this jarring song, it's represented in the same place people clean poop stains from their briefs. Great job, Big Freedia. I'd really expect more from someone who is claimed to have invented twerking (although maybe it was a yoga move, but who cares.)

Nivea -- "Laundromat"

Ewww.

This is far from a comprehensive list. I found literally dozens of other videos that were too boring to get into, even this really awful parody of a Daft Punk song and this redneck song about a bar/laundromat. Even fucking Justin Bieber is in on this trope. And I don't even know what the hell this is. None of these videos have anything unique to say. If you watched all of them on mute, you could hardly tell the difference between them.

I understand that you're on a budget. But find some place else to film, for the love of God. In fact, stop writing songs about laundry all together. The Detergents did it in 1964. Everything else you do is gonna suck. Looking at you, Don Henley.

Troy Farah does his laundry once every two weeks. Find him on the twits. Find any show in Metro Phoenix via our extensive online concert calendar.

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