Apple Tells Us What Is Naughty . . . And What Is Okay for an iPhone
It seems that Apple has decided that certain "sexy" apps, are just a little too risqué for their customers. One of the biggest problems is the "Wobble" application, which adds a wobble motion to photographs. Apple is apparently worried that people will be use it on pictures of boobies... Thus making them pornographic?
According to CNN, these are the new rules that Apple is applying:
1. No images of women in bikinis. (Ice skating tights are not okay either.)
2. No images of men in bikinis.
3. No skin. (CNN asked if a Burqa was okay, and said that the Apple guy got angry.)
4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs.
5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex - all banned.
6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!
7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content.
And yet, Playboy still has an app with Apple, apparently because if the brand is strong enough, they will consider using them.
While I do not desire an app with the same wobbly effects that a pubescent boy might want -- what the fuck, Apple? Seriously? What year is this anyway? No ice skating tights? Does that mean that streaming the Olympic games on an iPhone is not kosher? A character on the British comedy Coupling once noted that the internet is "...an enormous international database of naked bottoms." Correct me if I'm wrong, but the iPhone has internet capabilities. What is to stop said teenagers from accessing the real porn instead of the half hearted attempt at the humorous "Wobble" application? Furthermore, Apples censorship laws are more stringent than the prudish U.S. government's.
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