Two guys are sitting in a pub knocking back shots. First guy turns to the second and says, "You see this bar? I built this bar with my own two hands, but do they call me Jimmy the Bar-Maker? No. And you know what else? That motel next door? I built that hotel from the ground up by myself, but do they call me Jimmy the Motel-Builder? No. But you fuck one sheep . . ."
"Oh yeah?" the second guy says. "Well, stop your grumblin'. I'm a singer in a metal band, and we've sold millions of records, but do they call me David the Platinum-Record-Seller? No. We just put out our fourth album a few months ago that debuted at number one, but do they call me David the Chart-Topper? No. We're out on the road all the time, like with this Jägermeister Tour we're doing right now, but do they call me David the Road Warrior? No. I come up with powerful songs about my pain and the state of the world today, but do they call me David the Intense-Lyric-Writer? No. But you start off one song, five freakin' years ago, with Ahhhh wah ah-ah-ah' . . ."
"Holy crap!" says the first guy. "You're David the Angry Rabid Monkey-Man? From Disturbed?!? Man, I feel so much better now!"
The Jgermeister Tour, featuring Disturbed, and Blood Simple
Marquee Theatre in Tempe
Sunday, January 15
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
"Goddamnit . . ."