Five Albums Every Man Should Have In His Bachelor Pad

This terrifyingly sexist record is not on the list, but you get the idea.
This terrifyingly sexist record is not on the list, but you get the idea.

For those who are really terrible in this life, I imagine a special hell: reality TV hell. This awful place will be populated by the combined casts of Jersey Shore and The Bachelor Pad, two of the most painful shows ever. Why would I want to watch a television show that glorifies ignorance and marginalizes Italian-Americans? Or Snooki having a baby?

But The Bachelor Pad, which aired its finale two nights ago, might have even less to offer than Jersey Shore. It's about beautiful people looking for love. We're supposed to care about that?

But for all its formulaic character archetypes and uninteresting plot twists, it got me thinking. What does the modern American bachelor or bachelorette listen to? More importantly, what should he (or she) have in their music arsenal?

The key to a decent collection is to have something for every occasion. Whether you're hosting a toga party, an intimate dinner for two, dealing with a breakup, or shaving in the shower, the last thing you want is not have the perfect album for the occasion.

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The Shower Album: The Black Keys, El Camino

I know, I know. This album is too hipster. But what's wrong with that? Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney have obviously stumbled on to something. How else to you explain the huge success of The Keys? Chalk it up to fluoride in the water? Or maybe something to do with my expensive vegan body wash?

I take the band for what it is, a contemporary duo that's brought a take on the blues, and properly packaged it for a younger generation. So what if every commercial on TV is using their songs?

The Black Keys are scheduled to perform Tuesday, October 9, at U.S. Airways Center.

Five Albums Every Man Should Have In His Bachelor Pad

The Party Album: Ice Cube, Predator

When I say party, I don't mean a dinner party. This is the kind of jungle juice-soaked, neighbor waking, who's-that-passed-out-on-my-bed kind of party. For all you bachelor/ettes out there who are considering hosting one of these, you must have the proper soundtrack, and it must include Ice Cube. This 1993 album is a classic, and songs like "It Was a Good Day" will keep your party going until the po-po come knocking.

Ice Cube, Snoop Lion, and Too Short are scheduled to perform Friday, September 14, at Comerica Theatre.

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