Five Songs Chick-Fil-A Should Put in Its Next Commercial (Since It's Okay With Taking Money from Gay Folks Again)
There must be something in the air. Everywhere we look, broken relationships seem to be mending.
First Rihanna confessed to Oprah that her abusive ex-boyfriend Chris Brown is still the love of her life, then rumors swirled about a possible Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson reconciliation after the young starlet admitted to hooking up with movie director Rupert Sanders. Now, it looks like fast-food restaurant Chick-Fil-A is ready to start patching things up with its gay constituency after reports surfaced online that the chain has agreed to stop funding anti-gay groups.
Chicago Alderman Joe Moreno made the claim about the policy change on Wednesday, but by yesterday the franchise had issued another statement clarifying their position. "...Chick-fil-A's giving heritage is focused on programs that educate youth, strengthen families and enrich marriages, and support communities," the statement said. While the statement didn't exactly say "yes" to same-sex marriage, it did assert that, "... the Chick-fil-A culture and service tradition in our restaurants is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect -- regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender."
If the company is serious about making up, here are five songs we recommend they use in their next commercial.
Player: "Baby Come Back"
"Any kind of fool could see / There was something in everything about you / Baby come back / You can blame it all on me / I was wrong and I just can't live without you."
Nasty public relations struggles aren't smooth. Player, on the other hand, is very, very smooth.
Chicago: "Hard To Say I'm Sorry"
"Hold me now / It's hard for me to say I'm sorry / I just want you to stay."
You'd think this would be an easy sorry, but you know, at least some steps are being taken in the right direction.Jackson 5: "I Want you Back"
"When I had you to myself / I didn't want you around / Those pretty faces always made you / Stand out in a crowd."
No one ever claimed that Chick-Fil-A's chicken wasn't, like, really awesome, so maybe the "good to be back" goes both way.
Peaches and Herb: "Reunited"
"I was a fool to ever leave your side / Me minus you is such a lonely ride / That break-up we had has made me lonesome and sad / I realize I love you 'cuz I want you back."
"Feel," "taste," eh, whatever.
The Beatles: "We Can Work It Out"
"Think of what you're saying / You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright / Think of what i'm saying / We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night."
Perhaps we should look at this whole thing as something other than a money thing, and imagine that we might actually be witnessing a case of people figuring out how to get along. That's not cynical, but if we can't get along regarding fried chicken, what can we do?
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