Construction paper? Check. Squiggly scissors? Got 'em. Magazine cut-outs of kittens?
No, we're not helping our kid sister make a collage; we're making ironic D.I.Y holiday cards to celebrate Bon Iver Day.
That's right, y'all, Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett has proclaimed July 22, 2011 Bon Iver Day.
And even though we're nowhere near Wisconsin, there's absolutely no chance we're letting 1,800 miles of American heartland stop us from celebrating the most authentic holiday of the year.
We're encouraging alts throughout the Valley to take the day off, buy a case of Milwaukee's own Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, and let Justin Vernon's indie folk tuneage linger in the background. However, you're only excused from work if you're employed by, or intern at...
A Coffee Co-Op
Yeah, it's always Bon Iver Day at your local indie coffee shop, but today's different. It's like Christmas for alts minus hyper-consumerism, and mainstream appeal.
A Bike Shop
Business has been slow this summer thanks to incredibly high temperatures. You may as well close up shop and turn Bon Iver Day into a long weekend.
An Internet Start-up
Not only should you take the day off to listen Bon Iver's music and drink tallboys, you shouldn't go to work because the coffee co-op that doubles as your boardroom is closed today. You'll never get anything done.
An Alternative Weekly
We'll be out of the office until Monday.
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Happy Bon Iver Day, y'all.