Insane Clown Posse On ABC's Nightline Tonight: Whoop Whoop!

Do these kids look dangerous? No? Then you must not be a sissy Arizona cop.
Do these kids look dangerous? No? Then you must not be a sissy Arizona cop.
Victor Palagano

Tonight ABC's Nightline will feature a segment on killer Juggalos, including an interview with the Insane Clown Posse, which was conducted by anchor, Martin Bashir.

Bashir, who is probably most famous for his series of Michael Jackson interviews, enters the Juggalo world through the story of a Pennsylvania man named Michael Goucher who was allegedly beaten to death by members of the quote-unquote "gang."

Now, of course the insanely clownish posse of Arizona law enforcement officials just could not stop themselves from weighing in on the subject -- though it involves a case in Pennsylvania -- which is why we have Arizona Department of Public Safety Detective Michelle Vasey (I imagine her undercover Juggalo name it be "LipNutz") quoted at the very top of the story. Vasey, you might have noticed, is quoted in a lot of stupid "Juggalos Gone Wild" stories.

"We've got multiple individuals committing gang-related crimes, gang-motivated crimes and they're using the name Juggalo," the spokeswoman hopefully known as LipNutz said.

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I've addressed the ridiculous crusade against Juggalos in a column awhile ago, of course. I also braved an ICP concert a few months ago, without getting so much as a scratch.

Why? Oh, right, because the Juggalos aren't a gang!

It's incredibly stupid to treat the Juggalo thing as a "gang" problem. But I guess if I was a lazy cop assigned to a gang unit in metro Phoenix I might go after these economically depressed white kids -- most of whom couldn't successfully operate any sort of criminal enterprise beyond shortchanging customers at the Burger King where they work, let alone deal drugs or extort people -- I might prefer taking aim at them instead of, say, a gang connected to the Juarez Cartel.

After all, the Juggalos are going to spray Faygo on their adversaries. Cross the wrong drug cartel and Vasey -- er, LipNutz -- ends up with a cracked skull and various sensitive appendages attached to a car battery. Talking to Martin Bashir sounds a lot more fun to me!

So, yeah, keep talking about Juggalos, guys. Keep talking about the damned Juggalos. Hopefully the Feds can handle our growing gang problem and solve some of crimes here in Phoenix, America's Kidnapping Capital, while these idiots play paddy-cake with some misguided kids.

In the meantime, let's enjoy some real news...

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