Yes, only God can make a tree, but only England can produce the rock stars who routinely plow into them. Or, when a tree is not readily available, an irate parking attendant. What other choice did Iron Maiden timekeeper "Nicko" McBrain have when he found himself late for a show and unable to produce identification sufficient enough to satisfy the Jones Beach parking security cop? Ever the "trooper," he did what any mercurial metal star would do -- he floored it, baby, and if he's lucky, the Behind the Music episode will air before the trial. Hallowed be thy brakes . . .
Prior to McBrain's human being lawn-mower impersonation, vindicated lead singer Bruce Dickinson told the press, "We've always said that one day metal would be back in a big way and some people would laugh at that. Well, I think the day has definitely arrived." It's true! TRL stars are having a hard time filling Madison Square Garden, but the "Give Me Ed . . . 'Til I'm Dead" tour is selling out nightly without any radio play or renewed interest in spandex.
At a time when people are suing Creed for sucking live, you've got Maiden axman Janick Gers giving fans extra showmanship for their entertainment dollar, ushering in every solo with such beloved trademark moves as Windmill Powerchords, the Backward Head Jerk, Hair Gyrations and, of course, the indefensible-unless-you-were-there Jogging in Place Marathon. And lest you think this is lowbrow bread and circus -- read on, as a giant metal robot version of Eddie, the band's ghoulish mascot, gets a brain transplant before your very eyes. Cool!
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