Keep These 10 Songs as Far Away From Your Valentine's Day Playlist as Possible
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, it seems like everyone is scrambling to find a
hook up way to impress a crush or a significant other.
A dozen roses and a box of chocolates may seem like a cheesy and overdone gift, but it's a safer bet than some other ideas. We're music folks, so the idea of a sexy, personalized playlist sounds like a great gift...only give those lyrics a quick scan first.
Plenty of seemingly innocent "love songs" have menacing undertones. Obsession, stalking, and drugs shouldn't be the focus of your V-Day playlist.
We want to help you get lucky on Valentine's Day, so do yourself a favor and avoid these 10 songs (and maybe avoid farting under the covers, too).
The Police- Every Breath You Take
Every move you make Every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I'll be watching you
This is probably the most well known Valentine's Day no-no song. There's nothing romantic about being stalked by a crazy person.
James Blunt- You're Beautiful
Ah yes, unrequited love. "My love is pure, I saw an angel, of that I'm sure" sounds sweet, except this so-called angel is riding the subway with another guy.
Plus, it's pretty lame to put a James Blunt song on a romantic mixtape anyway.
The Cardigans- Lovefool
"Pretend that you love me, leave me, leave me, just say that you need me." If desperation and gigantic blue eyes are your thing, you may stand a chance on the 14th.
Death Cab For Cutie- I Will Possess Your Heart
If the song title wasn't enough of an indicator, this tune gets super creepy.
"There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass, and I long for this mirrored perspective when we'll be lovers, lovers at last." Hmm, maybe Zooey Deschanel and Jenny Lewis dig that stalker vibe.
Lou Reed- Perfect Day
"Oh, it's such a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you."
Drinking Sangria in the park, feeding animals in the zoo, and watching movies sounds pleasant...especially if you just took a bunch of heroin.
Debby Boone- You Light Up My Life
Songwriter Joe Brooks intended for this to be a love song, but Debby Boone had a bit more of a religious interpretation. If you have any doubts, just look to South Park or The Simpsons to see how easy it is to convert pop songs to religious songs and vice versa.
Descendents- Silly Girl
"Started on a summer Sunday, your pink dress on the setting sun. You were going to grandma's house, I was too scared to come."
The Ataris tricked me into believing this is a love song. It sounds like a guy is too scared to make a move, but really it's about his relationship with his daughter. Yuck!
Smashing Pumpkins- Today
Repeating "I want to turn you on" and "today is the greatest day I've ever known" sounds like the words of someone ready to take the relationship plunge..except this song is actually about Billy Corgan contemplating suicide. Awkward.
Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here
If your significant other is stuck working on Valentine's Day, don't slip this song on their mp3 player, no matter how much you think you're two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl. The song is more about withdrawal than attachment.
R.E.M.- The One I Love
If you listen beyond the opening line of "this one goes out to the one I love," you'll hear the deceptive, "this one goes out to the one I've left behind, a simple prop to occupy my time." To think, some people pick this as a wedding song.
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