By Niki D'Andrea
"That girl weighs like, 60 pounds. I'm serious."
"White belts are okay, as long as you wear them with irony."
"There are so many bald guys here. How am I supposed to tell Michael Stipe from Moby from some random dude?"
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
"Bark back at that damn dog! Little yippie bitch."
"Hang on, I'm not sure if the number is in my iPhone, my Blackberry, or my Razer phone."
"Who wants to ride in the ambulance?"