November 23, 2011 | 7:00am
Ah, the holidays. It's a month-long period when spending "quality time" with your extended family is mandatory, children get spoiled to no end, and, of course, getting shitty-drunk at the company Christmas party is expected. It just gives you warm fuzzies thinking about it.
The holidays wouldn't be complete without the chaos of Black Friday -- the one time of year it's expected that we'll hear about someone punching a grandmother over a $150 laptop and trampling Walmart employees.
I love the holidays. In the spirit of Black Friday, here are a few songs that capture the spirit of the consumer's holiday.
Matchbox Twenty: "3 a.m."
Read these lyrics
with consumerism on the mind and they take on a whole new meaning. Considering you'll probably be in line at Best Buy at this time to get that $200 flatscreen, I'd say it's appropriate. Here's an ode to you and your 150 closest parking lot camping buddies.
The Rolling Stones: "Paint It Black"
You'll be in darkness until you get your hands on at least four of those five-cent sweaters. Live in the realm of black for a bit, dear shopper. I'm sure your daughter totally won't throw those sweaters in the garbage in three months.
Veruca Salt: "I Want it Now"
You can get everything she mentions in the song on-the-cheap this Friday.
Dolly Parton: "The Bargain Store"
Except on Black Friday, you'll need more than love to purchase anything. Walmart doesn't barter with your hippie crap.
Pet Shop Boys: "Shopping"
Perfect for the most depressing shopping montage ever.
M.I.A. hates money 'cause it makes her numb. You, on the other hand, need to "Hussel" to get that portable DVD player.
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