A lot of people started complaining when "the new Twitter" was unveiled. Now when you log on to the popular social networking website, you're subject to a stream of random "popular" Tweets that often contain shout-outs to Justin Bieber and Demi Lovato or cliched inspirational quotes that no one really wants to read.
One local man often infiltrates his way into the pack of most-read 140-character-or-less messages that all of Twitter gets to see: The Maine's John O'Callaghan. The handsome singer of the pop/rock group has managed to amass more than 65,000 followers, yet follows no one himself. His background is a boring generic picture of a pointing finger, and his profile picture is a simple black-and-white, one-eye-open, off-center head shot. So just how does this guy get RT'd so often and make it in-between Jonas Brothers and Conan O'Brien Tweets?
Maybe it's because his messages are often as bat sh*t crazy as Courtney Love's little ditties. O'Callaghan spouts off on everything from his current emotional state, to what he's eating, to song lyrics. And when you've got an army of teenage girls with their fingers glued to your every thought, chances are, you're going to spread like wildfire.
Now, we present, O'Callaghan's top 25 craziest Tweets of the past year. Maybe you can ask him what they all mean when The Maine plays The Nile Theater tonight.
25. I'm a coyote, you're a coyote, we're all coyotes.
24. i recall, lightning struck itself.
23. Maguire. Not Mark, Jerry.
22. No ceilings.
21. Those that ride the whales.
20. people told me slow my role, i'm screamin' out "fuck that."
19. Good morning Satan.
18. i'm running much smoother now i bought new bones and bigger feet.
17. A zombie ate my brain, but I'm still smarter than you.
16. Orange juice ruled one time.
15. Tell em that the house is not for sale.
14. who's gonna die with me?
13. nine more gallons and I'll have me a hat.
12. Any major dude will tell you.
11. Pony Boy needs grooming daily.
10. It took me three days in a rocketship.
9. We're gonna fuckin kill em all...so smile.
8. follow me to mordor. @frodo and @gandalf are already carpooling with me. ask your parents for a ride.
7. The living room is on fire!
6. Godzilla is scaring the squid.
5. The wind blows.
4. If a cactus were a man, that's what his pee would taste like.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
3. Hunting for nudes in a pile of trash.
2. Why don't you put all those scorpions in a jar and shove it up my ass.
1. I never shoulda started feeding the goddamn elves.