The late godfather of punk, Joey Ramone, once said that one of the cool things about the Ramones' first album was its brevity — at just 30 minutes long, you could blast the entire record at a party before the cops showed up. Joe Queer, frontman of pop-punk band The Queers, also subscribes to the Ramones' 1-2-3-4 approach (as well as being one of the foremost bands in the "Ramones-core" genre). The band's songs have always been short and sweet, usually fast, and obnoxious. The Queers' 1990 debut album, Grow Up, was a battering ram of short, supercharged songs, like the instrumental surf-punk splash "Squid Omelet." Their most successful album, Love Songs for the Retarded (1993), was also full of four-chord, 4/4 tunes (with titles like "I Can't Stop Farting" and "Ursula Finally Has Tits") that collectively clocked in at just under 36 minutes. The Queers' live sets have historically also been short (45 minutes is a marathon to them), so don't take a smoke break during their set or you'll miss half the show. But even if The Queers play only 30 minutes, it may be one of the highest-energy performances you'll ever see. Because despite the common belief that bigger and longer is better, some things are just better short and snarly. —
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