Three Creepy Christmas Carolers
You've got to admit, Up on the Sun has been doing a pretty kick ass job of making the holiday music season, dare we say it, bearable.
From posts that include the Christmas Songs That Don't Suck series, to "Un-Christmas" and Metal songs for Christmas lists, we've pretty much got you covered. We've undoubtedly made department store shopping that much easier by giving you songs to fill your iPod's with, but there's one more element of Christmas cheer we haven't prepared you for ... until now. Beware the creepy Christmas caroler that lurks behind saguaros and pine trees alike.
While we can't exactly protect you from these creatures of the night that come rapping at your door to sing supposed "happy" songs, we can at least warn you about the more dangerous perpetrators.
Lock the doors and follow the jump for our list of this year's creepy Christmas carolers.
Voca People So the Voca People are "friendly aliens from the planet Voca, somewhere behind the sun, where all communication is made by music and vocal expressions." They're snow-white skin and Santa Claus-red lips may make them seem harmless but we're not fooled by their supposed Christmas tidings. We're fully convinced this a capella octet is bent on sucking our souls out through our ears; even if they do have a friendly beat boxer.
Rob Halford Anyone who played last weekend's Christmas Pudding event should have been forbidden to play Christmas songs. We all know that metal, hard rock stuff is devil music anyway; now they're just trying to hide it in classic Christmas packaging. If you see Rob Halford outside your window, run away. They too, are hell-bent on sucking out your soul through your ears (or maybe he just wants to hang out. We're not sure).
As the name implies, this choir is arranged by breast cup size. The jury is still out on what these girls want with our souls, but they are the most dangerous of the creepy Christmas carolers. Sure they don't have blank expressions or makeup caked onto their faces, so why are they on this list? Scantily-clad bodacious bodies are rarely a bad thing ... except for when your mom's in the kitchen baking cookies and shit. Deck our halls any other holiday season ladies. Just not this one.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Phoenix, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.