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Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?

Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?
Michael Lopez

Historically, the Coachella lineup has been announced in January. That means it -- along with the schedules of some artists who, hopefully, will make their way to Phoenix between dates -- should be announced any day now.

There have been a number of fake posters circulating on the Net -- some credible and some downright hilarious. We compiled our own predictions into the only format Coachella festival-goers seem to understand -- our very own fake poster.

See also: Best of Coachella: Sunday, April 22 Best of Coachella: Saturday, April 21 Best of Coachella 2012: Friday, April 20 James' Tim Booth On Why Coachella Kicks (The Old) Lollapalooza's Ass Top Ten Awkward Coachella Dance Move GIFs Complete Coachella 2012 Coverage

Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?
Illustration by Melissa Fossum

This lineup includes all of Consequence of Sound's confirmed artists and most of their logical/expected acts. Most of these seem reasonable, based on their tour dates and social media hints.

The Rolling Stones supposedly leaked the news that they will be playing the festival on the band's app. Goldenvoice may have confirmed this by posting a picture of a stone on the polo fields on its Instagram page. Otherwise, the promoter has a good sense of humor.

The rest of the lineup seems fairly logical. Beach House and Sigur Ros are both playing in Phoenix within a week of the festival. Some artists, like The Lumineers, Grimes, and Purity Ring, released albums last year and tremendously grew in popularity. Others, like Vampire Weekend, Phoenix, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs, have releases coming out this year and have been heavily rumored to be a part of the festival. Hopefully, the same applies to My Bloody Valentine.

I may not have psychic abilities just yet, so I made a second poster for good measure.

 

Who Is Really Playing Coachella This Year?
Illustration by Melissa Fossum

File under: "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is." This flier boasts some of the festival's most popular rumored acts -- Daft Punk, Outkast, and The Smiths. The Smiths reunion is so exciting that it's the first headlining band and Morrissey and Johnny Marr make another appearance hugging it out earlier in the day.

The first few acts of each day seem amazing, until you read down to the third line or so. While it would be awesome to see The Cure's Robert Smith battle mecha-Streisand in real life, it comes at the heavy cost of hearing Paris Hilton attempt to be a DJ and almost half an hour of the "Thanksgiving Song." But, hey, at least Bryan Lightningrod and The Lonely Island will be there.

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