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Why I Want to Date a Cowboy (Just Once)

Why I Want to Date a Cowboy (Just Once)

Country guys are hot. The crowd at the Miranda Lambert show provided plenty of people-watching opportunities, complete with lots of overdressed people and gigantic trucks that dwarved my poor little Toyota.

I'm about as far from the "country girl" image as one can get, but that doesn't change the fact that I want to date a cowboy someday.

Country Thunder 2012: When all else fails, watch people fall off the mechanical bull.
Country Thunder 2012: When all else fails, watch people fall off the mechanical bull.
William Westfall

Here's an experiment -- get out of your comfort zone and go somewhere new. Try the last bar you'd ever expect to check out, one that plays a type of music you hate. Country is not my preferred genre, by any means, and having little more in common with the country gal image than blond hair and the occasional bit of plaid makes me stand out hilariously. Then again, my first experience was at Charlie's, and I'm obviously not a gay man dressed as a cowboy, but watching men two-step is pretty damn entertaining.

Some people love to comment on my tattoos as if I'm some sort of unicorn, but I have the same reaction when I see somebody wearing a cowboy hat. It's not something I see every day, and even if the person is a phony, part of me still hopes they spit tobacco and say "ma'am" while tipping their hats. Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill lives up to this image, as guys in white cowboy hats hang out by the mechanical bull and drink crappy domestic beer.

After Googling attractive male country singers, I prepared myself for the people-watching event of a lifetime at the Miranda Lambert show.

 

As expected, most of the guys did not look like airbrushed male strippers (seriously, Luke Bryan, that photo is terrible), but they didn't look like the Marlboro Man, either. By and large, they were normal guys who were a bit more clean cut than expected.

I still find these cowboy-hat-sporting creatures fascinating. From a distance, I hope some of the stereotypes are true -- that these guys are as nice as they are attractive, that they're rugged men who can fix my car and kill bugs for me. I suspect that politics and what to listen to in the car will always be an issue, unless I find an open-minded cowpoke. But I'm willing to agree to disagree as long as you hear me out about as to why the Tea Party terrifies me, and as long as you give the music I like a shot in return.

I would gladly tag along to a country bar with my hypothetical cowboy date as long as he would join me for my own discordant genre madness. Openness is what's important here, because isolating yourself to a single genre of music is dumb. I doubt Mr. Cowboy would enjoy electro dance parties and hardcore shows as much as I do, but a girl can dream. Perhaps some day, at least, we can drink whiskey and discuss the merits of Johnny Cash and Hank Williams. It's a faux pas to discuss politics on the first date anyway, so once I find a cowboy that's willing to step out of his comfort zone, we'll talk.

Until then, here's Kenny Chesney, a.k.a. Cowboy Stripper Bruce Willis:

Yippie Ki Yay, mother fucker.
Yippie Ki Yay, mother fucker.
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