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10 Arizona "Dumb Laws" That Are Complete Horse S**t

10 Arizona "Dumb Laws" That Are Complete Horse S**t
Robert Huffstutter via Flickr

Did you know it's against the law in Arizona to have sexual relations with a rodeo clown in an elevator on Tuesdays?

No? That's probably because that "dumb law," like nearly every "dumb law" you've ever heard about Arizona, is complete horse shit. Check out 10 such laws that are attributed to Arizona's law books, which may have existed at some point long, long ago, but certainly aren't laws right now:

10.) In Tucson, it's illegal for women to wear pants

Tucson: America's most nude-from-the-waist-down city.
Tucson: America's most nude-from-the-waist-down city.
Dan Dickinson Flickr

Actually, it might be considered illegal to not wear pants in Tucson. This "law," like all of the purported city-based laws on this list, have been debunked by state historian Marshall Trimble, and Arizona author John Neuner.

 

9.) In Globe, it's illegal to play cards with a Native American

Maybe they meant using Native Americans as playing cards is illegal.
Maybe they meant using Native Americans as playing cards is illegal.
Florencia&Pe via Flickr

Fake and racist.

 

8.) In Nogales, it's illegal to wear suspenders

Criminal scum.
Criminal scum.
Imad Haddad via Flickr

Just, no. Nobody cares how you keep your pants from dropping to your ankles.

 

7.) It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona

HUMP DAYYYYYYYY!
HUMP DAYYYYYYYY!
xikita via Flickr

There's actually a story behind this involving camels in Arizona, but there's no such law. However, it is actually kind of true, since any camel you find in Arizona is undoubtedly owned by a circus or zoo, so you'd just be murdering someone's camel.

 

6.) Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs

Actually, this donkey claims he can do whatever he goddamn pleases.
Actually, this donkey claims he can do whatever he goddamn pleases.
Moose G. Flickr

Again, there's also a story behind this one, but feel free to throw some pillows and a donkey into your bathtub, legally.

 

5.) Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony

Nice try, Satan.
Nice try, Satan.
waferboard via Flickr

Arizona Revised Statutes show some arguably weird laws involving masks, but this ain't one of 'em.

 

4.) In Maricopa County, no more than six girls may live in any house.

There's one hell of a household.
There's one hell of a household.
araza123 via Flickr

Looks like someone needs to familiarize themselves with the county's zoning ordinances. Neither the zoning ordinances nor the rules on adult businesses make any such claim. Variants of this fake law are attributed to various states and locales.

 

3.) You may not have more than two dildos in a house

Probable cause.
Probable cause.
TheChanel via Flickr

This is another one that just so happens to be attributed to places all over the country. Feel free to have dildos stacked to the rafters at your place.

 

2.) When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses

Under fake Arizona law, you may only slap this burlgar with a computer screen.
Under fake Arizona law, you may only slap this burlgar with a computer screen.
elhombredenegro Flickr

It's a little ridiculous that anyone would even believe this, since there are frequent stories from around the state about people shooting home intruders. There are many situations in which you can shoot a burglar who's armed with nothing. This fake law is a kind of poor attempt to explain the use-of-force continuum, which isn't really the law around here.

 

1.) It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water

Communist juice.
Communist juice.
Matt Rudge via Flickr

This is probably Arizona's biggest urban legend. Everyone just knows this one is true, but no one seems to be able to come up with the statute. Can you imagine the headline on that one? Phoenix man sentenced to prison for refusing to invite religious missionary into home for glass of water. There are plenty of Arizona laws about water, but nothing the mentions that the state is a free-for-all on glasses of water.

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Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.


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