10 Craziest Phoenix Crimes of 2013

10 Craziest Phoenix Crimes of 2013
dogulove via Flickr

No matter how many police reports we read through on a monthly basis, the criminal creativity, stupidity, and craziness never ceases to amaze us.

Just when you think you've seen it all, there's always something worse. From the legendary tale of vagina branding, to a B-list celebrity freak-out, to a torn scrotum, and much more, we bring you the 10 craziest Phoenix-area crimes of the year:

See also:
-Crimes of the Month

10.) Actor Jason London's Poop in a Cop Car

10 Craziest Phoenix Crimes of 2013
David Shankbone [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Actor Jason London, best known, and perhaps only known, for his role as Randall 'Pink' Floyd in the movie Dazed and Confused, had a freak-out in Scottsdale earlier this year that peaked with him taking a dump in the back seat of a Scottsdale cop car. According to police, London sneezed in a man's face at the Martini Ranch bar, and after that guy got upset, London punched him in the face. When London was asked for his side of the story, he called the cop a "fucking hillbilly," and said the cops couldn't do anything for him, so he was arrested. "Guess what, faggot? I fucking love this! I fucking own you guys so hard," London told the arresting officer, according to the police report. "I'm rich and I'm a motherfucking famous actor! Fucking look me up, bitch!" The officer said he didn't respond anything, but London continued talking, saying, "It smells like shit in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea." The officer wrote in his report: "I looked back at him just in time for him to lean to the left and defecate in his pants. Then he said, 'I told you that I'm happy as shit!'"

See also: Jason London Took a Dump in a Cop Car

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