10 Hottest Things During a Phoenix Summer
It's June, which means it's getting a little warm here in Phoenix.
With 100-degree temperatures in our foreseeable future, we have our picks for the 10 things that seem to get the hottest during the summer:
10.) Your House After the Air Conditioning Breaks
It's still cooler than it is outside, but few people would ever be able to sleep in their house after the air-conditioning breaks. Time to wake up some friends or relatives and tell them they have a new roommate!
If there's anything that needs to be done in your attic, you have two choices: Wait until November, or pay someone to go up there.
Left a bottle of water in your car for 15 minutes? There are now two uses for that water: burning your throat, or cooking instant noodles. Has anyone ever left the faucet on long enough to where it actually gets cold? Also, when you turn on the hose, you want nothing to do with those first five seconds of water.
Some very tan and sunscreen-heavy people might be exempt from this, but pasty people know the pain.
Back in our day, if you wanted to see the Arizona Cardinals, you made your ass sizzle on those bleachers in Sun Devil Stadium, and you watched that (very likely) 30-0 loss until the bitter end. At least ASU came up with the brilliant idea to have games at night.
The heat island effect is real.
You're relieved when you see that a business owner duct-taped a hand towel to the door handle of the front of the business.
When I was 13, I thought it'd be fine if I went barefoot to get the mail. I was incorrect.
The door handle, the shift knob, the steering wheel, the seats, even the sunglasses you left out that singe your face. Everything about your car is hot.
This has to be the single hottest thing in a Phoenix summer. The only time someone in Phoenix will ever be thankful for the metal buckle is when they accidentally chop off their own finger and need a way to cauterize the wound.
Follow Valley Fever on Twitter at @ValleyFeverPHX.
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