10 Ridiculous Animal Stories That Could Happen Only in Arizona
Arizona may not be known for having a world-class education system or a good relationship with the federal government — hell, even our most famous law enforcement agent, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is on trial for contempt.
But after the drama of last week’s State Fair goat disappearance went viral, we thought it was time to add “co-existing with other animals” to the list. Here are our favorite Arizona animal stories, guaranteed to make you shake your head or wince in embarrassment.
10. “You caught me, Alan. I tried to fuck your sheep.”
Seriously, that’s what a Mesa fire chief, Leroy Johnson, said to his neighbor, Alan Goats (we swear that’s his real name), after he was caught with his pants around his ankles, about to “have a little lamb” in Alan’s barn.
Arizona Game and Fish Department
9. Remember that time Arizona Game and Fish officials couldn’t tell the difference between kidney failure and dehydration and euthanized the state’s last living jaguar? LOLZ.
As New Times reporter James King suggested at the time: Perhaps Game and Fish should stick to working with fish.
8. What kind of Police K-9 Unit leader leaves his top dog in a police car and forgets about him for 13 hours?!?!
The kind that labor in Arizona, apparently. In 2012, a sleep-deprived sergeant with the Chandler PD, Thomas Lovejoy, killed his squad’s dog, Bandit, by forgetting to take him out of the car.
7. Sometimes a swarm of killer bees just needs to take down a human.
Especially if that human is a landscaper who happens to accidentally disturb a three-by-eight-foot hive. Can you really blame them?
6. From the files of "things Arizona is famous for" — you know, like its eco-conscious approach to plastic bags — we now can officially add "horse sex capital of the country."
Thanks, Michael Crawford.
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