Now more than a week into Spring, we've developed a conspiracy theory -- Spring doesn't actually exist in Phoenix.
Here are 10 pieces of evidence that we don't have a Spring season:
10.) "April Showers" Don't Exist
9.) "May Flowers" Came in March
So we've been teaching lies to Phoenix's kindergarten students.
7.) Our Clocks Don't "Spring Forward" for Daylight Savings Time
How convenient, that we don't participate in Daylight Savings Time.
This is the case everywhere, which is a shame, but how can we verify Spring exists if we don't have Spring Break?
5.) Punxsutawney Phil Predicted a Long Winter (on a 70-Degree Day in Phoenix)
3.) Was There a Winter?
Maybe we just have two seasons: Kind of Summer, and Very Summer.
Did we miss it?
1.) On What Planet Is It Almost 100 Degrees on the First Week of Spring?
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Well, technically, this planet.