Best Reader Caption for Joe Arpaio Bringing the "Birther" Brigade to Church?
On Friday, we asked readers to write the caption for the above photo of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio rounding up the "birther" brigade at church for another explanation of why he believes President Obama is from Africa.
That expedition took the sheriff's "Cold Case Posse" to a church in Sun City West, where Arpaio and company delivered the "birther" conspiracy theory to some of the Valley's more, ahem, vintage individuals.
After sifting through all the responses -- as usual, some of them more politically correct than others -- we've narrowed it down to five finalists.
Only one person will win the pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, along with a firm handshake and/or high-five, and deciding that winner is up to you.
A) Thomas Brown
"Socialist Usurper?!! I thought this was to be a Social and Supper!"
"Sheriff Joe Arpaio was remiss in realizing that his three-hour birther lecture had mistakingly taken place inside the Sun City West Alzheimers Ward. The sheriff was quoted after the lecture saying, 'I felt a connection to these people, as if they were the only ones in the world who understood me.'"
"Speaking in front of a crowd in Sun City West, Sheriff Arpaio explains some of the high tech tools used to dissect the Obama Birth Certificate. Here we see something called a 'projector'. There were a few tense moments when the Sheriff had to calm down the crowd after there was a minor panic over the fear that the evil Muslim man on the screen was indeed a giant and was about to eat them all. Next, the Sherrif explained what a computer was and demonstrated how you can use a 'punch-card' to enter data. After that, everyone went to Luby's for the traditional 4 pm diiner, and right home to bed. Tomorrow: Microfiche; Do you need a license to catch them, and what is the daily limit?"
D) St. Joseph of Maricopa
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have some shocking news to report to you. A crack team from my cold case posse has obtained evidence that Jesus of 'Nazareth' wasn't actually from Nazareth at all. He was actually born in a manger in Bethlehem according to reports obtained from three very wise men. We also have reason to believe that his long form birth certificate is a forgery due to discrepancies between his father being alternatively listed as 'Joseph' or 'God the Father'. As Sheriff, I have therefore decided to cancel Easter until further revalations as to his Messiah status can be made during the second coming. Effective immediately, my good friend Russel Pearce will also be adding the Easter Bunny to his buy-cott list."
E) Eleanor Holguin
"I thought this was the Bingo hall. Damnit, Martha, we got on the wrong bus again."
Cast your vote below:
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Phoenix, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.