Last week, in honor of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's comeuppance ( Department of Justice investigations, botched sex-crime investigations, etc.), we submitted the above photo of the sheriff and his PR puppy for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.
If you missed our post on the sheriff shamelessly using a puppy to deflect questions about botched sex-crime investigations, click here.
We had more than 80 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.
We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.
The finalists are as follows:
A) Maybe368 with: "I would like to introduce my new chief deputy. I finally have some loyalty by someone that can't write any freakin' reports."
B) scobob with:
Reporter: "That's a good looking pig you have there."
Arpaio: "That's not a pig it's a dog."
Reporter: "I was talking to the dog."
C) Shooter Macgaven with: "Why wasn't I euthanized like the other lucky dogs, this guy is a fucking creeper."
D) MSWade with: "Please direct all of your questions concerning the sex crimes to our new commander of the sex crimes unit. Commander McPup, would you like to introduce yourself and address the press' questions."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
E) shadeaux14 with:Puppy: "If I drag my ass on the carpet, will this big greasy turd come loose?"
Cast your vote below.