Ladies and gentlemen, the above photo is a man's belly button stuffed with heroin, in an attempted smuggling attempt in Nogales.
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Customs and Border Protection says the owner of that belly button, 35-year-old Tucson resident Calvin C. Howard III, actually had a couple more pounds of heroin strapped to his waist when he tried to walk into the United States through a pedestrian gate.
When agents tried to question Howard about the extra (extra) baggage around his waist, Howard tried to run back to Mexico, but the agents were able to take him into custody, according to CBP.
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The two packages around his waist, plus the belly-button stash, totaled more than two pounds, according to the agency.
CBP values the heroin at nearly $30,000.
Howard was turned over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement's Homeland Security Investigations.