Move over, rover, let Gary take over.
In a tale that could seemingly only happen in rural stretch of central Arizona -- or the hills of West Virginia -- Chino Valley resident Gary Riley has been accused of sexually assaulting his neighbor's dog.
The Yavapai County Sheriff's Office says another Chino Valley resident, Levi Fderish, came home from work one night only to find his dog was not in his house, or in a fenced-in area of his yard.
Worried, Fderish got in his car and began to drive around his neighborhood looking for the pooch, while his wife stayed home just in case the dog came back.
After driving around for a while without finding the mutt, Fderish headed home. That's when authorities say he found the pooch -- attached to his next-door neighbor.
"The guy drove past his neighbors house and sees the guy behind this sort of wood pile. He noticed he had his pants around his ankles, so he backed his truck into the driveway," Steve Skurja, spokesman for the Sheriff's Office tells New Times. "Then he sees that this guy's got a hold of his dog."
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Probably not too thrilled to see his dog being used like a pin cushion, Fderish had a brief struggle with Riley, and retrieved his violated dog.
Skurja wasn't sure what breed the dog was, so let's hope it wasn't a chihuahua.
The dog is reported to be doing well -- given the circumstances -- but Riley's probably in some trouble.
Riley was arrested on suspicion of bestiality, assault because of the fight, and theft because he reportedly stole the dog/victim out of his neighbor's yard.