The only reason we requested the arrest report for Bruce Nicholas Wardell was because we were so impressed/terrified by his epic mullet. What he allegedly did to get arrested is just as horrific as his frizzy "party in the back."
Wardell is accused of watching porn in front of his girlfriend's 6-year-old daughter. His girlfriend, Latease Coddington, who lived in Wardell's house, shot up some sort of injectable drug in front of the girl, according to police.
The two allegedly hid the girl in a tiny storage compartment hidden under a bed whenever Child Protective Services paid a visit to Wardell's house.
Read all about it here.
In honor of his alleged sleaziness -- .and his nauseating mullet -- Wardell is the subject of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.
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You Write the Caption's pretty self-explanatory. Here's how you play: we show you a picture, like the above mugshot of Wardell -- and his mullet.
You -- in the comment section of this post -- then write what you think would be an appropriate caption for the photo.
On Monday, we'll announce the top-five reader captions and put them to a vote. The winner will receive a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of municipal Phoenix tap water.
Do your worst, New Times readers -- and let's try to keep things somewhat polite.