If you're living in the Valley -- or anywhere for that matter -- and happen to think you're a vampire, keep one thing in mind: you're not.
According to the Chandler Police Department, a Chandler couple stabbed their roommate in the arm after he told them they couldn't suck his blood.
The couple, according to the roommate, 25-year-old Robert Maley, is "into vampire stuff" and got angry when they refused to allow them to slurp blood from his arm.
Maley says he'd let his roommates, 24-year-old Aaron Homer and 21-year-old Amanda Williamson, suck his blood in the past but this time he wasn't interested.
After Maley told the couple they couldn't suck his blood, Homer became furious and stabbed him in the arm.
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Bleeding heavily, Maley didn't immediately call an ambulance because there was a warrant out for his arrest for a probation violation. Rather, he ran out of the apartment leaving a
snack for Homer and Williamson trail of blood leading out of the apartment.
Simultaneously, firefighters were treating someone next door to Maley's apartment when they saw a man with blood gushing out of his arm. They called police.
When police arrived, Williamson and Homer were sitting in the blood-covered apartment. Williamson said she stabbed Maley in self defense after he attacked her. Homer told several different stories -- none of which were believed by police -- before finally settling on claiming Maley made fun of their "religion," so he stabbed him.
Williamson was arrested on charges of false reporting,
Homer was arrested on charges of aggravated assault, and Maley was arrested on his probation violation warrant. He was also treated for the wound, which required several stitches. Williamson was charged with false reporting because, unfortunately, thinking you're a vampire isn't a crime.