The votes are in, and the winning whiskers of the coveted "Robert Goulet Mustached American of the Year Award" belong to Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Clay Zavada.
Zavada's spirally stache earned him top honors in St. Louis Friday night, where he attended "Stache Bash 2009" to receive his award.
For the past four years, the American Mustache Institute has been honoring the person it feels is "best contributing to the Mustached American way of life over the past year," whatever that means.
Zavada had some elite company is his pursuit of mustache immortality. Others considered for the award were U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder and hero pilot Sully Sullenberger.
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"This is an honor, especially to beat out some great people like Captain Sully Sullenberger, who is an absolute hero," Zavada said in his acceptance speech, while wearing a $3 Burger King-esque crown. "I am humbled that so many people in America care about mustaches and have been amazed at all of the support I've gotten, especially from my grandma who was really fired up about me winning."
"Stache Bash" isn't just a gathering of lip-sweaters -- so it's not entirely ridiculous. The event is to benefit a program called Challenger Baseball, which is a baseball league for people with developmental disabilities. In the Challenger league, there are no outs, no strikes, and one of the only rules is that everyone gets to hit every inning. That's slightly different from Zavada's D-Backs, who lately have been lucky to have three people hit in a whole game.
The award is named after the late Robert Goulet. AMI claims Goulet's "voice, trademark mustache, sense of humor, and black leather jackets represented a quadruple-threat of talent the American Mustache Institute is proud to salute."