Eric Byrnes, the Arizona Diamondbacks one-time golden boy, was recently given the boot by the Seattle Mariners after -- as described by New Times sister paper the Seattle Weekly -- "batting .094, blowing a suicide squeeze, and demonstrating an inability to catch fly balls or run the bases properly, to boot."
Not to worry -- Byrnesy's been picked up by a new squad, where -- compliments of the D-backs -- he'll still be making some serious coin.
Byrnes has joined a softball team sponsored by The Dutch Goose, a burger and beer joint in Menlo Park, California.
Thanks to his three-year contract with the D-backs -- a team for which he no longer plays -- Byrnes will make $11 million this year to play beer league softball with his buddies.
"This is going to be a blast," Byrnes says in an interview with MLB.com. "Playing with my buddies. I can't wait for my first hit. I'm going to ask for the ball."
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The Mariners were waiting for Byrnes to hit, too, which is part of the reason he was shown the door.
sickening hilarious as it may be that Byrnes is getting $11 mil to play beer league softball, this looks like the end of the road for a once-promising career, and Byrnes seems to be cool with it.
"I think this is the end," Byrnes says in the MLB.com interview. "You never say never, but I think this is it. Parts of 11 seasons, man -- I gave everything I had to the game. I can look myself in the mirror and know that I gave it my all. I'm proud of that."