Get excited, Phoenix, because it's time for round three of the frenetic yelling fest otherwise known as the Republican Presidential Debate!
The theme of the night is "your money, your vote," which might normally sound like a snooze-fest, but with the combined business acumen of Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina – plus their willingness to attack each other about said acumen – this promises to be rowdy enough to keep Ben Carson awake.
Wednesday night's events, which start at 5 p.m., will be hosted by the news crew from CNBC (including John Harwood, the guy who brought you Rick Perry's famous debate gaffe) and should be just as unpredictable as the last two without being three hours long.
Here are five places in metro Phoenix to catch the debate (plus a little guidance on how to choose the best event that's right for you):
1. Arizona GOP Headquarters — Event Page
3501 North 24th Street
Perfect for young people looking to schmooze and talk politics because this party will be hosted by the Maricopa County Young Republican Professionals and is only for people 35 years and younger — sorry to all the grownups out there.
2.. Paz Cantina — Event Page
1011 N 3rd Street, Phoenix
Perfect for Hillary and Bernie fans who require a stiff margarita to make it through the evening, or a plate of tacos to cry into when the thought of a Trump presidency gets a little too real.
3. Arizona State University-Tempe — Event Page
(Payne Hall EDB 205)
Perfect for Rand Paul devotees and anyone who loves an underdog. Sure, Chris Christie likes to pick on him about national security issues, and sure, he's a little more hesitant than the rest of the gang to take the country to war, but with the ASU for Rand group hosting this party, it promises to be a pro-Rand kind of night.
4. Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication — Event Page
555 N. Central Avenue
On the big-screen in the First Amendment Forum
Perfect for political junkies and policy wonks who want to hear other smart people pontificate on the relative merits of various "policies" and platforms.
5. Rosati's Pizza Sports Pub — Restaurant Website
18221 N Pima Road, Scottsdale
Right for anyone still commiserating over the failed candidacy of everyone's favorite union-busting conservative, Scott Walker. Happy hour lasts until 7 at Rosati's, so there'll be plenty of chances to toast his legacy. (Or take a shot to forget him...)
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***BONUS OPTION: If you've had enough of the GOP Clown Car brigade and don't think you could stand another night of conservative shenanigans, you could just blow off the entire debate and hang with hundreds of Bernie Sanders fans. The one and only Bernie S. is broadcasting a live town-hall style discussion about issues facing students and young professionals.
CNBC's John Harwood, one of the debate moderators, appeared on the Daily Show recently: