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Flashes

The Gripes of Sal
Readers who know Cesar Chavez isn't that guy with the burro in the Colombian coffee commercials should appreciate this. Last week, Councilman Sal DCCO asked a "simple question" of the council subcommittee on Family, Education and Culture, which he chairs.

The topic: Cesar Chavez Plaza, a memorial adjacent to City Hall. His question: Should we plant grapes there?

Reached at home Monday, a flu-stricken DCCO whined that his intentions were misunderstood.

"I am the only councilmember who speaks Spanish. I am very involved with the Hispanic community, and I know the entire story behind Cesar Chavez, okay? I just asked a simple question. I said, 'Hey, there's nothing here that really symbolizes the struggle and the representation of grapes in here. . . . Should we plant . . . grapevines or something in the park to show that this is where the struggle began?'

"And then one person basically said, 'No, because that would be very disrespectful.' And that was it. I dropped it, I said, 'Fine.'

"I'm not Hispanic, so I wouldn't know . . ."
And, DCCO says, he's going to keep asking questions, no matter what. "It would be ridiculous for me not to be able to ask things because every time I turn around someone's gonna take a shot at me, you know? And what gets me is it probably came from somebody who doesn't even speak Spanish." That Sal, tiene uvas.

Sexual Tension at the Ol'K Corral
U.S. Senator Jon Kyl relishes his reputation as a family-values conservative. So imagine his chagrin upon learning that the Seattle Times had portrayed him as an avowed homosexual not long after another member of the Arizona delegation, Representative Jim Kolbe, had come out of the closet. A cartoon by Seattle Times' editorial cartoonist Chris Britt depicted a strolling man and woman.

"Did you hear U.S. Senator Jon Kyl from Arizona has announced he's gay?" the man asks.

"Yeah," the woman replies.
"I used to admire him for his convictions, his courage and his stands on the issues," the man continues. "I thought he was a decent fellow and an effective legislator."

In the final panel, the woman puts her arm around the man and says, "He still is, dear."

Britt heard about his gaffe soon after the paper hit the streets. A corrected cartoon was reprinted in the next edition, with Kolbe's name replacing Kyl's. Britt also sent a letter of apology to Kyl.

Ironically, Britt is a Phoenix native, a 1977 graduate of Washington High School and a University of Arizona alum.

"It was just a stupid mistake on my part," Britt says. "I know who these guys are."

Those darn K names always confuse The Flash, too.

C'mon, Baby, Let's Do The Twisted
With no apologies to our own reviewer ("Emperor Strikes Out," page 63), The Flash hereby gives a leering endorsement to Guv: The Emperor Strikes Back, which opened last week.

Okay, okay. The show should be cut by 20 minutes. The acoustics are dreadful. The swishy Hawaiian dudes are non sequiturs. But let's not quibble about taste. It's supposed to be tasteless.

If you're a gallows-humored, politically incorrect political junkie, it's a must-see--especially the second act. The characters who play Ann and Fife Symington are dead ringers. And the number in which Woods and County Attorney Rick Romley do the tango is almost worth the price of admission.

The Flash gives one finger up--waaaay up--for Guv: The Emperor Strikes Back.


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