Former Phoenix Suns Forward Has a Message for Haitian Earthquake Victims: "Use a Condom Once in a While"
For anyone who thought Pat Robertson's diatribe about Haiti's "pact with the devil" was offensive, wait 'til you get a load of what former Phoenix Suns reserve forward Paul Shirley blabbed.
On his blog, Shirley claims he has not given a dime to the relief effort and has no plans to give a nickel in the future.
Why so cold? Well, Shirley likens the Haitian people to a bum on the street saying, "I don't think the guy with the sign that reads 'Need You're [sic] Help' is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don't think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either."
Oh the horror -- a few bucks to feed an orphan or two.
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He then poses an, um, interesting question: "Shouldn't much of the responsibility for the disaster lie with the victims of that disaster?"
Shirley, currently playing basketball for the Unicaja Malaga in the (ahem) prestigious ACB league in Spain, is the victim of a disaster himself: his own career.
Shirley has played for 11 basketball teams and has been pretty much the 12th man the whole time.
He gained notoriety by keeping a blog during his brief stint with the Suns and even penned a book about being an NBA flunky called, Can I Keep My Jersey.
Most of his writings are wacked -- he swears by the fact that the British rock group Oasis is better than the Beatles. But he hasn't really pissed anybody off until now.
In the middle of his Haiti post -- as if he's involved in some contest for biggest dickhead on the planet -- he inserts a mock letter to Haiti:
Dear Haitians -
First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.
As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it's possible, could you not rebuild your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty-and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?
The Rest of the World
You can check out Shirley's entire post here.