Here's da ting: Pro soccer is for the desperate and delusional. Like us.
By Clay McNear
We were pleasantly confounded recently when KTAR’s sports-radio kingpin John Gambadoro stood up to be counted in favor of football–the other kind. Of course, this was during a 10-minute tirade against English cricket, so it was probably relative, but still–soccer! Even Gambo’s partner, Mark Asher, was taken aback, blubbering something along the lines of, “Now, Gambo, here’s da ting . . .”
You can count us in favor of fútbol, too, though there would have to be about 20 million more of us for pro soccer to mean jack-squat here in Fortress America, the only place in the world, seemingly, that doesn’t understand the thrill of World Cup or the exhilaration of being stomped by a dude in steel-toed boots during a brawl.
Anyhoo, Gambadoro, after weighing his enthusiastic endorsement for a bit, wound up ratcheting things down to lukewarm after concluding that, all things being equal, he’s rather do a number of other things with his life than watch dudes in knee-high socks make 12 shots on goal in 60 minutes.
And he’s right, of course. Professional soccer has absolutely no future here. It’s a game of stealth and strategy, a contest to see which team can choke the life out of the other most slowly. That’s why it’s always failed here and why it always will. Still, that hasn’t kept a lot of desperate, delusional people from trying, as they will once more during the match between the New York Red Bulls and Mexican superteam Chivas at 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 25, at University of Phoenix Stadium, 1 Cardinals Drive in Glendale.
Here’s da ting: Why not down a few ADD poppers and give it a shot? Whaddaya got to lose other than 60 minutes of your life featuring 12 shots on goal?
Tickets range from $25 to $55, available by ringing 480-784-4444 or visiting "http://www.ticketmaster.com”>Ticketmaster. For additional info, call 623-433-7100 or see "http://www.universityofphoenixstadium.com”>University of Phoenix Stadium.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.
- Inmates Accuse Arizona of Experimenting with Lethal-Injection Drugs
Thu., Dec. 10, 6:25pm
Fri., Dec. 11, 7:00pm
Fri., Dec. 11, 7:30pm
Fri., Dec. 11, 7:30pm
- 10 Things Arizonans Hate About Snowbirds
- Scottsdale Couple Are Pioneers in Tiny-Home Movement in Arizona