No, a dead president isn't throwing people off yachts in California, but a man named John Fitzgerald Kennedy was convicted yesterday on two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of a Prescott, Arizona couple who were tied to anchor and drowned in Southern California...Barrels of monkeys are apparently not fun anymore, as Arizona now forbids residents from owning chimps as pets after the recent monkey mauling in Connecticut...Former Phoenix Suns star Charles Barkley apologizes for his DUI on TNT, saying "I embarrassed everybody in my life, and that's not cool at all." We wonder how embarrassed the woman Barkley was in a hurry to see that night is with his public endorsements of her skills...The New York Times has printed a note to readers, saying the paper "did not intend to conclude" in an article last year that Arizona Senator John McCain had an affair with a lobbyist...An unidentified man got out of his car and jumped from "The Stack" (where the northbound I-17 ramp meets the westbound I-10 ramp) this morning, falling about 40 feet and landing on the I-10 ramp, where he was hit by a car...Buddhist monks in Thailand built a "Temple of One Million Bottles"out of foraged Heineken and Beer Chang bottles, with mosaics made from bottle caps. The building, while probably reeking of a frat house after a month-long kegger binge, is being hailed as eco-friendly.
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