What do you call a vampire who's running for the U.S. Senate? Don't bother asking Senate hopeful J.D. Hayworth because the guy's apparently humorless, can't take a joke.
Hayworth seems to think that a vampire quip made by former Arizona Attorney General Grant Woods was a death threat, and is demanding an apology.
In an interview with Newsweek, Woods joked: "Someone needs to drive a wooden stake through this guy's heart."
Woods, who is supporting Senator John McCain -- Hayworth's GOP primary opponent -- was referring to Hayworth, not Dracula.
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"This cavalier death threat that he issued is over the top," Hayworth tells Politico.
We're assuming that if Woods had any real desire to kill Hayworth, he'd probably go a more traditional route than driving a wooden stake through his heart. We sent him an e-mail to see if he had any immediate plans to murder the former congressman -- via-wooden stake or otherwise -- but he didn't immediately get back us.
"If Grant Woods had a shred of decency, he would apologize for what amounts to a death threat," Hayworth continues. "For Mr. Woods to issue a death threat in a national magazine like Newsweek is way beyond the pale."
No, J.D., unless you are in fact a vampire, interpreting an innocent reference to pop-culture as a death threat is what's "beyond the pale."