I've lived in New York, Los Angeles and a few places in between, but only in Arizona have I ever felt like I actually might need a gun.
Not to protect myself from armed robbers and whatnot, but to protect myself from Sand Land's rabid gun nuts, who on the whole are a truculent passel of redneck a-holes in dire need of dental care.
Here in Arizona, the wackos -- who, alas, are in power -- believe the Second Amendment was written in stone by Yahweh with an index finger of lightening, right around the time Charlton Heston came down from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments.
So when the Sandy Hook massacre occurred, instead of having a rational discussion about reasonable limitations on the possession of anything less than a Weapon of Mass Destruction, even some of the Democrats here (such as they are) joined their GOP colleagues in calling for more guns in schools, whether held by the teachers, a school resource officer or a principal, you name it.
There is little point in discussing the issue with Arizona pistol-kissers, save to insult them, which is why I so enjoy the collaboration between Jim Carrey and the Eels on the ditty, "Cold Dead Hand," which pretty much tells it like it is: big gun = small penis.
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Amazingly, there are some folks here in the Land Time Forgot who've confessed that they haven't seen the Hee Haw-themed spoof. Therefore, I post it on this blog as a service to the community.
Carrey has quickly rocketed to my number one fave celeb for this video and his riposte to Fox News' venom in its wake, calling "Fux news" a "a media colostomy bag that...should be emptied before it becomes a public health issue," and hoping that Fux will be recorded in media history as "nothing more than a giant culture fart that no amount of Garlique could cure."
I also share Carrey's obsession with Scottsdale-native Emma Stone, but that's another subject entirely.
So, happy Easter, gun nuts! Go kill a bunny, and have it stuffed and mounted as a monument to your general impotence and tiny manhood.