We're not doctors. That said, it appears like "step two" in the treatment for Sheriff Joe Arpaio's condition may involve embalming fluid.
We say this because Arpaio's press squad uploaded yesterday a pair of videos of the sheriff in his hospital bed, and we're really struggling to find a reason why.
Sure, a couple of painkillers might explain away what's going on in these videos, but watching Arpaio talk brought a few Hollywood classics to mind, like Ray Liotta's character at dinner in Hannibal or Jigsaw on his deathbed in Saw III.
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Find the videos of Arpaio, and an extra Life Alert commercial, below: