Sheriff Joe Arpaio's probably the only person who could convince his faithful fans to watch him open Al Capone's empty vault over and over again.
That's pretty much what Arpaio's set to do in a couple of weeks, as the sheriff announced through his other PR team (WorldNetDaily) that he's holding another "birther"-related press conference, with "more major revelations."
Spoiler alert: the news is so big that it's on the front of a supermarket tabloid.
Yes, along with a piece about why Kathie Lee Gifford hates Regis Philbin, Globe explains that it found the man who "forged Obama birth certificate."
This is similar to the last time Arpaio showed his case against the president was an empty vault, when the sheriff himself landed on the Globe cover before he announced that President Obama faked his birth certificate, but managed to forget to bring any evidence.
Arpaio promised a "shock" to everyone, and everyone was pretty shocked -- Arpaio really thinks President Obama's birth certificate is fake.
Then New Times and a couple dozen other media outlets watched a presentation for a solid two hours, which mostly included recycled theories that have been debunked over and over again.
This impending "update" doesn't seem to be too different.
As usual, Mike Zullo -- the "lead investigator" of Arpaio's Scooby Doo gang -- is still concerned about stamps, according to WorldNetDaily.
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The conspiracy-theory website explains that Arpaio and company are presenting "evidence [that] will include information gathered in the posse's recent investigative trip to Hawaii as well as an update on the ongoing investigation."
Thus, at the July 17 press conference -- which, of course, will be streaming live on WorldNetDaily -- Maricopa County taxpayers can find out exactly why $10,000 of their money funded a deputy's trip to Hawaii.