Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio unveiled his latest dehumanizing crime deterrent yesterday -- a device the sheriff is calling "pedal vision."
Pedal vision is a something the Sheriff's Office rigged up that requires inmates to ride a stationary bike if they want to watch television.
As an inmate pedals, the bike creates enough electricity to power a 19 inch television.
As the sheriff's office explains, "seeing that half of the inmate population is overweight, many morbidly so, Arpaio decided that inmates need to exercise. But since they cannot be forced to do so, he worked out a plan that incorporates a trade-off: If inmates want to access to their favorite pastime -- watching television -- they have to pedal for that privilege."
Speaking of "morbidly" overweight:
Since Arpaio -- gut, jowls, and all -- is now apparently a fitness buff and so concerned with the weight of those around him, we wonder if he's got a plan for Chief Deputy Dave Hendershott. Not to mention the last time we saw the sheriff, Arpaio looked like he was entering his second trimester.
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SHOW ME HOW
According to the Sheriff's Office, one hour of pedaling equates to one hour of electricity for the TV.
"If an inmate slows down and fails to pedal fast enough, an audible noise sounds off to warn inmates that the TV is shutting down," the sheriff explains. "Peer pressure will have them pedaling, at least right up to the commercial breaks."
"Peer pressure" amongst criminals, huh? We've seen enough prison movies to know that definitely won't cause any problems.