Joe Arpaio, Who Turns Old as Dirt Tomorrow, Wants "Barrack" Obama Off Florida Ballots
According to carbon dating, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio turns 80 tomorrow, and for a pre-birthday celebration, he's participating in a Florida court matter related to his "birther" fascination.
Arpaio is now helping an attorney in Florida challenge President "Barrack" Obama's eligibility to appear on the state's ballots in November, even though Maricopa County, for those unaware, is in Arizona.
WorldNetDaily -- the home to Jerome Corsi's conspiracy theories -- says Arpaio, Corsi, and MCSO Cold Case Posse "investigator" Michael Zullo have all submitted affidavits in a Leon County, Florida court, in an effort to get a hearing to argue whether Obama is a natural-born citizen.
Self-described "activist attorney" Larry Klayman felt the need to issue a press release on the matter, saying there's a hearing next week "to hear arguments from both sides about whether the eligibility of President Barack Hussein Obama can be determined in open court."
How this gentleman passed a Bar exam in any state is really confusing, considering how he explains that Obama's clearly not a natural-born citizen because he's trying to help Muslims take over the world.
From Klayman's press release:
"The framers were not stupid. They understood that a president with divided loyalties could present a security and other risks for our nation. Obama's Muslim heritage, which emanates from his Kenyan father (who had to be deported from the U.S.), frankly explains why he sides frequently with and takes actions to further the interests of Muslim nations against the United States; specifically his refusal to take forceful action against the Islamic Republic of Iran and its leaders over nuclear armament and human rights violations and atrocities."
Arpaio's affidavit doesn't include anything he hasn't already said before, stating that a "law enforcement investigation" from his Cold Case Posse had led him to believe that fraud was committed in "Barrack" Obama's documents.
We're not sure who "Barrack Obama" is, or what exactly he's the president of, but it would appear -- based on the context of Arpaio's affidavit -- that he's referring to Barack Obama, the President of the United States.
Arpaio might win this time, because according to the Florida Division of Elections, there is no "Barrack Obama" on the state's ballots for president.
Likely referencing President Barack Obama's birth certificate, Arpaio claims "there is probable cause that the document is a forgery," a claim which is actually going to be presented in a backwoods Florida Panhandle courtroom.
Meanwhile, for Arpaio's actual birthday present, the sheriff's racing go-karts with friends, family, and MCSO staff at 11:30 a.m. tomorrow at Phoenix's Octane Raceway.
According to a letter apparently first obtained by 12 News' Brahm Resnik, send your RSVPs to Arpaio's head flak Lisa Allen.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.