"Jon Kyl is One of Gaddafi's Sexy Female Ninja Guards," According to Stephen Colbert's Non-Factual Twitter-Town Crusade Against the Senator
Stephen Colbert, the late-night dispenser of all things "truthiness," is continuing to wage war against Arizona Senator Jon Kyl over lies the senator told on the floor of the U.S. Senate last week, and his flabbergasting response after getting called on his BS.
To keep the heat on the
lying fact-challenged U.S. senator, Colbert has decided "to celebrate Jon Kyl's groundbreaking excuseplanation last night by tweeting around the clock non-facts about him," which he's done 'round the clock and under the hashtag "#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.
As we mentioned yesterday, Kyl apparently thought it was fine to just make up "facts" about Planned Parenthood's abortion numbers and spout them on the floor of the Senate to push his pro-life agenda.
"Everybody goes to clinics, to hospitals, to doctors, and so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that's well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does," the senator crowed.
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As Politifact is quick to point out, only 3 percent of the services Planned Parenthood provides are "abortion related."
Once caught in his lie, Kyl's office responded by saying the senator's remark "was not intended to be a factual statement but rather to illustrate that Planned Parenthood, an organization that receives millions in taxpayer dollars, does subsidize abortions."
In other words, Kyl's trying to redefine lying -- and Colbert's having a ball with it by relentlessly tweeting things about Kyl that are "not intended to be a factual statement."
See some of Colbert's non-factual statements about Kyl below:
-Jon Kyl bought a SodaStream so he could drink *carbonated* tears of the poor.
-Jon Kyl is the only person who can sneeze with his penis. He calls it a "sneenis."
-Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.
-Jon Kyl has the world's most extensive catalogue of snuff films.
-Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii.
-Jon Kyl calls all Asians "Neil" no matter what their name is.
As Colbert points out, by Kyl's logic, all of those statements would be libelous if he weren't to include the hashtag "this is not intended to be a factual statement."
Colbert's Kyl-bashing has taken on a Chuck Norris-esque life of its own. Check it out here -- and feel free to leave any non-facts you may know about Kyl in the comment section of this blog post.