This week, most of our alleged cons each have their own unique way of expressing themselves. Enjoy.
Charges: Burglary, theft, prescription-drug possession
Our first thought here was, "Holy shit, is that Lady Gaga?" Our second thought was, "No, and waterproof makeup is a good investment."
Charge: Marijuana possession
This is probably the first time we've had to make guesses about what's behind a mustache. Another mustache? It's just too hard to tell.
Charge: Probation violation
OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT? WHERE? Seriously, man, you're starting to scare the kids.
Charges: Aggravated DUI, DUI -- liquor/drugs combo, failure to appear
How hard to people try to avoid pissing off this guy at work? Or, if that's a regular look, how hard do they try to avoid making eye contact?
Charges: Aggravated DUI, driving with a suspended license due to a DUI, failure to appear, failure to pay a fine
Exactly what type of injury is treated with a makeshift chef's hat?
Charge: Criminal littering
How much time are you giving those last two? Over/Under is one month -- call your bookie.
Charges: Possession of a weapon in a drug offense, dangerous-drug possession, theft, possession of drug paraphernalia
Estimated time spent every day staring into a mirror and saying, "You, talkin' to me?" -- 15 minutes.
Charges: Criminal damage, assault
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Charge: Failure to pay a fine
Hello James. We are all watching you sleep.