Every week we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert's own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we'll take care of the rest.
This week, our Fourth Avenue visitors look like something definitely went wrong prior to their trips to jail, from head tattoos, to black eyes, to a guy who looks like he might -- might -- be able to beat up Justin Bieber. Enjoy.
Charges: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, shoplifting
We get it -- "badass" is a popular look for the jail environment. But between the waxed eyebrows, pouty lips, and two black eyes that look more like they're just covered in glittery eye-shadow, this fellow looks about as badass as the little troll-looking girls on Jersey Shore.
Charges: Failure to pay fine, driving with a suspended license.
Hell yes, sir. Hell yes. You keep doin' whatever it is that you do, and don't let anyone tell you any different (unless it's a police officer, ya know).
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, shoplifting
Looks like someone took a big dump in their grumpy-pants this morning.
"Misunderstood"? No, we understand -- instead of hair, you went with those ill-conceived tattoos. We also understand the classic red-lips tattoo on the neck, designating the location where a real woman's lips might go on someone without head tattoos.
Believe it or not, this fellow's 18 years old, and we wouldn't be surprised if his alleged assault was carried out against a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber.
Charges: Marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
Author, How to Get Higher Than the International Space Station, for Dummies.
Charge: Unlawful use of transportation.
Listen, this is not how a compass works -- you know it, I know it, we all know it. Consider the position you'd have to be in for that compass to be accurate. Really, this is just insulting to people who tend to get lost.
You might remember this guy from back in '72. He had that sweet van where everyone could just chill out, light a doobie, and have a good time, man. What do you think ever happened to that guy?
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SHOW ME HOW
Charges: Assault, disorderly conduct
Have you ever been clocked so hard that your eye just turned into dry, grandma-like lips? This guy certainly has, and we'll just have to take his word for it that we "should've seen the other guy."